For many women, a large part of sex is the connection. It isn’t enough to jump into bed together, get the job done, and move on. You need to connect with her as a person, not merely the physical vessel you are using to find pleasure. Spend time kissing her. Make eye contact. Talk dirty to her, or comment on your favorite parts of her body as you touch them. Use her name, and take your time. Making the effort to establish an emotional connection will ensure she’s into it as much as you are, which means better sex for both for you.
TO BE DESIRED
Men are often visually driven. All you need to see is a woman’s body or a glimpse of something forbidden to be raring to go. Women are a bit more complicated. To be turned on, most women need to feel desired. They want to be the focal point of your lust; they want to sense your urgency in wanting them here and now. You can establish this desire early on. Tell her how good she looks in that shirt, or how great her butt looks in her jeans. Turn it up during foreplay. Talk dirty to her, tell her how badly you want her, and kiss her in places you normally neglect.
TO BE SATISFIED
Good sex ensures that both parties leave happy and satisfied. For a man, reaching satisfaction is easier and more obvious. Either you get off or you don’t. For a woman, it can be tricky. Make sure you communicate with her to ensure you take care of her in the way she needs. Every woman is different, so just because your long-time girlfriend liked it one way, doesn’t mean you now know a foolproof way to please every woman. Express your desire to take care of her, ask questions, and be prepared to learn. Just showing that you are anxious to please will go a long way toward her satisfaction.
TO PUSH THE ENVELOPE
More and more women report enjoying aggressive, rough sex. This doesn’t mean you should go home and slap her around, but maybe open up the conversation or feel it out next time you make love. Being dominated and pushed around a little may turn her on. It can be exciting and hot to feel controlled from time to time. In addition, she may also want to be the dominator once in a while. Be open with each other. Discover her fantasies, and be honest about yours. You may both surprise each other on what you’re willing to try.
TO SENSE CONFIDENCE
This isn’t anything new, but it plays a vital role in your sex life. Be sure of yourself in bed. Be verbal about what you like and what you want from her. Half of her pleasure comes from watching you enjoy what she’s doing to you. In the same way, be confident in the way you touch her while being responsive to what she likes and doesn’t like. Don’t be a bumbling, apologizing idiot. Listen to her feedback, and react in a sure, confident manner. It can take time to understand each other’s bodies, so be patient and confident in yourself and your abilities.