To se xually motivate your girl, you have to work on making sex exciting for her so that she considers it a priority over other things. Whether you’re dating a girl or sharing a sexually exciting friendship, making a move to have sex is tricky business.

Keep these tips in mind in order to get what you want.

Set the mood: Turn off your TV, dim the lights, prepare her favorite drink, light some scented candles, and spray some fragrant air freshener in your bedroom and bathroom. Let the mood depict romance.

Foreplay; The old cliche is true: women love foreplay! Foreplay does not mean immediately grabbing her clitoris. Real foreplay means starting out as far from her genitals as possible — holding her face, stroking her hair, kissing her temples, gazing into her eyes, or rubbing her neck and shoulders. Learn some massage techniques and gently try a few on her head, neck and shoulders.

Caress gently: A majority of women prefer soft, tender touches and strokes all over their body until they get fully aroused. Se x therapists call this type of touch “non-demand touch” or “pleasure-focused outercourse.” Don’t just grab her breasts or butt. Instead, let your hands slowly reach those goals with long, gentle caresses. When she is fully aroused and dripping with desire, she may love the rougher play; but reserve that for the actual intercourse.

Kiss well: To be an expert kisser, start gently and work up to more passion in gradual stages. Begin by barely brushing your lips against hers, and then touch her lips with the tip of your tongue. Relax and open your lips as you deepen the kiss, but avoid drooling, slobbering or heavy vacuum sucking.

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Compliment: Many women feel insecure about their looks and self-conscious about their naked bodies. When a woman feels insecure, she is unlikely to be in the mood for sex. To increase her sexual responsiveness, tell her between kisses and as you touch her body that you find her beautiful and sexy, that she turns you on, and that you want to enjoy every part of her body before making love to her.

Her fantasies: Ask her to tell you her fantasies or to email them to you. Encourage her to describe them in details. The intimacy that such a confession produces will be se xually arousing for her. But be prepared for the unexpected. If she discloses that the thought of being with another woman turns her on, don’t get flustered or insecure.

Time of the month: However, when using any of these techniques, it is important to be mindful of her hormones. As her hormones fluctuate throughout her menstrual cycle, so does her sexual desire. Generally, a woman is horniest right before and during her ovulation, which is usually in the middle of her menstrual cycle (days 12 to 15 of the average 28-day cycle). This is the time to schedule a hot date or plan a romantic getaway.

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