A lot of people say you cannot love two people at the same time. This is completely false. You can love two people, but the kinds of love could be different.
Humans are very complex beings and it is very easy to have two people in your life who fulfill different, yet equally important needs for you. But choosing one to spend the rest of your life with can get very complicated.
No matter how you cut it, one person is more right for you than the other. Trying to figure this out is where the problem lies. Here are a few tips to help you make a decision.
1. Make a list: Making a list could a long way to make some things clearer. Make a list of what you want in a partner, in order of importance. Then make a list of the positive attributes each of your lovers have, and also the negative things. Compare these lists for a clearer picture of which partner will provide you with more of what you really need.
2. Spend time with them: Have you ever seen the TV show, The Bachelor? For him to make an informed decision of who to pick as a partner, he needs to spend quality alone time with each woman competing for his attention. This is important when making a choice.
Dedicate some time to each of your love interests, a day, if possible. Make the day all about them- no distractions. Learn all you can about their life, hopes, dreams etc. You will be surprised at how much you can learn about a person when you dedicate ample time to do so. Doing this will help you picture what it will be like to be with them, while also learning more about them
3. Step away: After getting to know them, it’s time you stepped away for a bit. This means cutting all communication with them both. If you get the chance to truly miss them, you might end up realizing that you miss one more than the other or there is this particular one you cannot wait to share your day with. That one is the one you have formed the closest bond with. Having strong bond is important when choosing a life partner.
4. Seek advice: Sometimes, seeing things objectively could help you make an informed decision. Seek the advice of those around you. Make sure you ask someone who can be objective, and not someone who might have something to gain or lose if you choose one or the other.
Also, make sure you consider their advice as a suggestion. Do not automatically do what they say. Listen to their opinions and their reasons and add it to the mix of other thing you are considering.
5. Listen to your heart: There is a reason why people assume you cannot love more than one person, it is because, if you listen with your heart, you will realize who you really want.
You can have your reasons for loving the other person too. But when your heart wants someone, it defies all reasons. If neither of these two lovers make you feel this, then perhaps neither of them is for you. It is time to say goodbye to both and find who makes your heart sing.
6. Making a choice: If you do, in fact, figure out who your hearts wants among the two, then it is time to stand by your choice and let the other person go. Do not keep stringing them along because you are afraid to let them go. Do the honorable thing and tell the other person the relationship cannot continue.
Note: After making your choice, there will be times you will question it. This is normal because no matter what, you have let someone go who gave you something your current partner cannot. But it is important that you remind yourself about the great attributes of the one you chose and enjoy your relationship.