Read the signs: Are you being settled for?
It seems that a man not only has to worry about getting the girl to like him enough to be in a relationship, but also if she likes him for him and not just for the sake of being a glorified sperm donor. This new wave of settling completely slaps the idea of love and “happily ever after” in the face.
Any real man would not want to be settled for. Here are the top 10 signs that she’s settling for you.
1. You have logical discussions, not passionate ones
She’s Settling There seems to be a distance of emotion between the two of you. Of course you talk and enjoy each other’s company, but it’s mostly polite and logical and it lacks passion. If she’s only looking for a companion who isn’t necessarily concerned with love, chances are your relationship will be very civilised and proper but will lack the fire or spark that is apparent in loving relationships.
If it is too comfortable or boring and there are never any emotional peaks, that’s because she is after an expensive ring and kids to show off. Who needs emotional connection for that?
2. Routine is the foundation of your relationship
She’s Settling Love is spontaneous, it knows not of time nor routine. Surprise gifts, romantic getaways on the spur of the moment, unplanned midnight skinny dipping are the kinds of things people do when in love. They get caught up in the moment and are happy to be whisked away by the wonderfully rapid tides of true romance.
If routine seems to be the foundation of your relationship and she’s not too bothered about experiencing new things with you, that’s because she only wants to marry you. There is no need for romance when you settle.
3. You don’t spend time together, yet she talks of marriage
She’s Settling People in worthwhile relationships actually like to spend time together. In fact, good couples try to spend as much time together as possible. They go out of their way to fit in just a couple hours together. If you both spend more time apart than you do together, and she’s not too concerned with that, it might be because she just wants you to ease the load of parenthood and put food on the table.
Spending time with your loved one should be a fun experience that you both cherish. She doesn’t need to spend time with the man she’s settling with for that.
4. You don’t have much in common
She’s Settling Most good couples actually share similar passions, which give them the opportunity to appreciate, explore and share together. Many times their similar passions lead to their romantic future together.
If you find that, upon reflection, you have little in common but she seems unfazed by it and unwilling to work towards it, then maybe something is amiss. Similar passions are for her long-lost soul mate, not the man she’s settling for.
5. Her views on love are jaded
She’s Settling All women want to be in love. There has never been anything more desirable for her than finding her soul mate and living happily ever after. She’s been reading stories of princes saving princesses her entire life, which means she’s always dreamt of being the princess waiting for her prince. But now she’s dismissive of the notion of romance, in fact she’s quite negative about the whole thing.
If she sees love as idealistic and relationships like that as unrealistic, she’s given up on love and you’re probably her realistic frog instead of the prince charming.
6. She describes your relationship as “nice”
She’s Settling The best kind of compliments are those that are specific and individual. It shows us that the other person has paid attention to whatever it is and appreciates us for it — there is a justification for it and that makes us feel special. Compliments that are not specific to ourselves don’t hold much value, especially when the comment could be said about many others.
If she uses broad non-specific terms like “nice,” “comfortable” or “pleasant,” chances are she’s making do with you.
7. Parenthood is her main excitement
She’s Settling The whole point of settling for Mr. Good Enough is so she can get married and start a family. She will make it clear that having kids is high on her list and will make sure it’s on yours too. She’s getting to the end of her reproductive life span and she’ll certainly make sure she’s not going to waste it on a guy who doesn’t want to get married and have children in the near future.
Has she already brought up the conversation? If she’s constantly bringing it up and shows more excitement in that subject more than others, chances are you are Mr. Good Enough.
8. Your world is ordinary rather than special
She’s Settling All great couples create their own world together. It might be in jokes, fantasies, code words, perhaps even their own language. Whatever it may be, they are actively building and living in a world that is different from everyone else’s. If you are just sharing an ordinary world together with nothing different from anyone else, then something isn’t quite right.
Be sure to test the waters; try to build something together using your imaginations. If she doesn’t seem all that interested, that’s because she doesn’t need to go to all that effort for Mr. Good Enough.
9. Conversation is practical, not personal
She’s SettlingCommunication is a sure fire way to tell the strength of a couple. If they’re constantly talking about all kinds of topics that don’t follow a particular logical order but are personal to them, it’s a good sign that they enjoy each other’s company and are in a good relationship.
Are the majority of the conversations you have about practical everyday things like household issues or tasks that need to be done? You may want to ask yourself if these are the kinds of conversations you dreamt of having with the woman of your dreams. She’s probably asked herself the same thing, but no longer cares.
10. Sex is functional and rare
She’s SettlingSex when in love or at least in a great relationship is passionate and emotion-filled. It’s possibly the truest expression of the bond two people have. The sex should be frequent and initiated by both people — not to mention it should be good.
Is she not very affectionate, nor particularly animated while you are inside her and doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about sleeping with you? If the answer is yes, then chances are she sees sex with you as an obligation and puts up with it because she knows she has to add some sort of value to the man she’s settling for.