Intensive research has shown that Nigerian ladies are fond of putting up strange characters in the heat of ecstasy.These strange unconscious characters have been broken down into several classes by His Royal Highness,George ‘Saro Wiwa’ of Tori News and listed below:

(1) S*x makes some ladies religious instantaneously:

During s*x, some Nigerian ladies who haven’t prayed in ages even by virtue of mistake in the heat of hard thrusts be like; ooooooh Lawwwwd! Chiiiisos! Yes! Yessssssssss! Oh gord!

If you are in this category, I swear the thunder that will fire you will be delivered through DHL.

(2) Some ladies immediately become music artistes:
Most of the ladies in this category may not even sing if you mandate them to do so at gun point but s*x has a way of digging out the hidden treasures in them. These emergency singers be like; Ummmh! Ooooh!! Aaaah!!! Yheeee!!!! Uuuuuh!!! All in a rhythmic style in line with the tune of the thrusts. People in this category will make good back-up singers in reality.

(3) Some experienced ladies become athletes:

S*x has a way of bringing out the spirit of competition in some docile ladies. The way some ladies will be advocating for speed will make you think s*x is a track and field event. They will be like; faaaaast! Faster nowwwww! Yes fassteeeeeer! You are almost there….fast oooooo!
Miss Usain Bolt well done oh!

(4) S*x makes people announce their own obituary untimely:

The way this category of people play with death during romance baffles me. They will be like;
You are killing me! You will finish me oh! Yeee I am finally dead!
This set of ladies will one day pray for long life despite their negative confessions.

(5) Some ladies become terrorists:
These sets of ladies are like the Niger Delta Avengers targeting oil pipelines in the South-south region. They could sound very destructive in their reactions. They will be like; Destroy it! Do it anyhow! Are you not a man? Don’t show any mercy! Vandalize the place! Do I look like your sister? Hardeeeeer! Oya fire!
For people in this category, one day you will meet your ‘Buratai’ who will level the place.

(6) S*x makes some ladies respectful:
I love ladies in this class. They are very calm and sweet. In a very arousing and low tone, they will be like; Give it to me please! Pls I am begging, don’t stop! You can do it dear! Pls I am almost there! I will soon come okay, I promise!
Most of the ladies in this zone grew up in comfortable environments lol.

(7) Good s*x has a way of making some ladies confess loyalty overnight:
This class of ladies are like Further Mathematics, I have failed to understand them despite several calculated attempts. They will never confess their feelings on a normal day until they are under the influence of the ‘koko’.
They will be like; I love you! You are my life! I will marry you! If you don’t propose, I will propose to you oh! You are the best! Just say whatever you want….your wish is my command! Jerk me anyhow, it’s all yours!
If you are in this circle ehn, I swear you need to be flogged at the village square.(8) Some ladies instantly become beggars:

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Ladies under this category paint s*x like a balanced diet which they must adequately consume for body growth and development. They can beg for Africa. They will be like; please don’t stop! Please touch my bre asts! Please just give it to me again! Please I am begging you! Ple-a-s-e! Pleeeeeeseee!! Plsssssssssse!!! Sssssssss!!!!In conclusion, majority of the ladies will deny these reactions after the sacred act.

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