• Anything you have to wait for is pretty much useless; Home cooked meals, PhD’s, Multi-million dollar inheritances, Newborn babies, Answered prayers, etc. You see, none of that has any value. Higher education and heaven are for losers and losers don’t get to eat three times a day in the fast food drive thru.
  • Why be careful when rushing is an option? Look at people who rushed their test taking in high school. The people who rush on the highway when a red light tries to keep them from getting to their destination before everyone else. People who rush to judgment before they have all the facts. THESE are the types we should model ourselves after, gentlemen.
  • She probably has some mumbo jumbo about why she’s not giving it up the first week, night or hour. Like, “I don’t just go having sex with everybody.” But that doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like if she does have sex with a lot of guys, people are going to look at her like she’s a slut or hoe or something. It’s not like she’ll feel used or empty inside. What world is SHE living in?
  • Let me guess, “Waiting for s*x allows you to build a solid foundation for a long term relationship.” Blah blah blah. Do people who build huge buildings, bridges and houses stress over a “foundation”? NO! They know that if they rub the buildings gently, stare deep into the windows and say “Baby, you’ll never fall. You gon’ stand tall forever.” then the building will be just fine.
  • A woman that makes you wait might use the excuse, “I don’t want to risk getting pregnant prematurely.” That’s the dumbest one of all. You might as well try to convince me that condoms sometimes break and other forms of birth control aren’t always 100 percent effective. Or that having a baby before you’re in a committed relationship puts the odds against both the parents and the baby for the absolute best upbringing. Not a statistic in sight that can back that claim.
  • S*x, just like everything else in life, requires no background check or proof that a person is who they say they are first. That’s almost like saying you should verify someone’s credentials before they work on your vehicle, babysit your children, or do open heart surgery on you. Word is bond, that’s all you ever need from someone in life. If she doesn’t know that, then it tells you a lot about her. Besides, stalkers and serial killers only exist in movies.
  • You should actually be offended if she’s ever had s*x with a guy who didn’t have to wait but is now making you wait. Any decent, God fearing, Donald Trump voting American handles mistakes by making them over and over again, not by learning from them.
  • A woman who makes you wait has bad character. That’s the only reason she’d want you to accept her, flaws and all or nothing at all. But why not be able to cherry pick what you want and go? Can’t you go to a brand new car dealer where they only sell the highest quality vehicles and just ask them for the engine? Okay, probably not. But at least they’ll send you to a salvage yard where the cars aren’t so freakin’ stuck up!

So on second thought, if you’re only in it for a small portion of the complete package, save yourself some trouble and go to the salvage yard. That’s where you belong.

By the way, this article is sarcasm. I have a feeling somebody is pissed right now so, yeah.

Article written by Derrick Jaxn 

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