This sounds totally weird right? What happened to being honest with each other and laying yourself bare for your partner to see your imperfection?
What happened to sharing pasts and laying your cards on the table? Almost everyone knows what it takes to be in a relationship. It is understandable for couples to be all over each other at the beginning and be willing to let their partners know every aspect of their lives. However, there are some dark details, shady revelations that could make the relationship crumble and take away the chances of most relationships working. Some things are inappropriate; sharing them with your partner could pull you apart rather than drawing you closer. Holding back certain information from one’s partner doesn’t make one bad in this kind of situation. Everyone has secrets they aren’t willing to let out. Moreover, if these things happened before meeting one’s partner, it would be better to keep them in the past. And in some cases where these things are discussed, the entire truth is hardly said.
Below are some of the things people hold back in relationships:
In relationships where the people have prospects to settle down and share a future, the people involved tend to be more careful about the kind of things they share. Most times the very smart ones avoid lying; they just avoid giving the expected answers. Everyone has a past. And in the bid to protect the relationship or a loved one, certain information is withheld. For instance, no woman comes out openly to tell her supposed fiancée about the number of men she’d slept with or how reckless she was as a teenager. Same way a man would hold back tales of his sexual escapades in order not to upset his future bride.
Most ladies feign innocence when asked if they have ever had an abortion. A lot of them deny having being in that kind of situation. However, when complications arise in the future and there’s a need to confide in a doctor, these details come out. Without trying to be judgmental, some ladies find themselves in nasty situations and often make choices that may mar them for life. No man wants to settle down with a lady who has had multiple abortions. They may get skeptical about those ladies’ chances of giving birth later in life. And in cases where the men overlook it, they tend to get sentimental and are quick to point fingers when faced with delay in such relationships.
Deep Family Secrets
Certain information need not be shared about one’s family history especially if they contain embarrassing or sordid details. It would be completely pointless telling one’s partner about an abusive father or an irresponsible mother. But in relationships where one party decides to play fair and discuss these issues with the other party, they are unknowingly empowering that party with a weapon of defense. Sentences like “Your dad cheated on your mum too” could be hurtful at the long run.
Crush On Mutual Friends
Making your partner know you once had a crush on a mutual friend tends to make things awful in that relationship; your partner’s insecurity eats him or her badly that it degenerates to trust issues when you are with that crush. Men just like the women do not like to think that a friend holds a special attraction in their partner’s life. In extreme cases, they could do things to make the crush or mutual friend go away as they can’t bear leaving the mutual friend with their partners alone.
Illicit Affairs At Work
Who goes to work and come back to share news of sleeping with his or her boss? In relationships, many dating couples may express their concerns about sexual advances but no one ever talk about giving in to those advances. The implications of making this kind of confession could be severe; losing the trust of the partner or in cases where the partner is understandable, the cheating partner may be forced to resign in order to reassure the other partner it wouldn’t happen again. It is not a lasting solution however, letting go could be difficult for the partner cheated on.