We don’t condone having or being a side chick, but the fact of the matter is that it happens. Not everyone can be the starter all the time, so some ladies end up settling into their role as a back-up, regardless of their intentions. Just because you don’t know you’re a side chick doesn’t mean you’re not, but there are a lot of red flags you can look for if you think you might be.
Here are 10 signs he thinks of you as a side chick.
10. You only go on weeknight dates.
Simply put, weekends are reserved for actual girlfriends (or “main chicks” if you’re seriously terrified of commitment). There’s nothing wrong with a Wednesday night date or meeting for lunch on a Friday, but if that’s the only time he can see you, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with a dude in a relationship.
9. You never get to meet his friends.
A lot of guys are hesitant to introduce their love interests to their friends, as they’re concerned one won’t mesh well with the other. That said, if he isn’t in a relationship, he’ll probably let you meet some of his friends so they can see you actually exist. Every guy has that one friend who always claims to be seeing some hot gal but she happens to be gone all of the time, and we don’t want to be that guy. On a related note, if he’s always going out with his friends but never tells you where they’re going, count that as a double red flag, because he might think you’re going to track him down.
8. He always has his phone on him.
For one thing, if you were really relationship material in his eyes, he probably wouldn’t be glued to his phone all the time. We’re not saying you’re definitely a side chick just because he’s constantly texting or Tweeting or posting status updates, but there’s probably something going on if he won’t let you look at his phone. Beyond that, you’re probably a side chick if you text all the time but never talk on the phone, but you’re definitely a side chick if he has you saved under a fake name. We don’t personally know any guys who use multiple phones, but that should be considered an automatic “yes” if you’re wondering if you’re a side chick.
7. He won’t hold your hand in public.
Ladies, some of us just aren’t into public displays of affection, but there’s a difference between not wanting to kiss you in front of friends and treating your hand like the plague on a date. Don’t get yourself in a tizzy if he doesn’t want to kiss you or put his arm around you with his boys around, but it should cause a little bit of concern if he won’t even hold your hand when it’s just the two of you out in public. Additionally, if he starts looking over his shoulder or acting weirdly paranoid, it’s probably not because he’s worried about a sudden ninja attack. He’s likely just making sure no one who knows his significant other is within eyesight.
6. He always wants to go to your place.
For one thing, a side chick might not ever see where her dude ever lives, but if she does, it wasn’t his idea. If you feel like you’re hosting a lot of “chill” time (which is almost never just “chilling”), you might be a side chick. Sure, some guys are just a little antisocial, but when he never wants to spend time anywhere other than your place, there’s a good chance that he’s keeping you a secret from someone.
5. He never spends the night.
Maybe he has to work in the morning or maybe he forgot to bring over his lucky boxers that he always sleeps in (trust us, dudes do some weird stuff like that). But if he’s leaving in the middle of the night every time he goes over to your place, it’s a good sign that he may be going home to someone else. There are some guys out there who just hate spending the night, but even they should be able to give you a night every once in a while. Sharing a bed during a weekend hotel trip doesn’t count either, because that seems like a classic cheating move in our book.
4. He’s M.I.A. for major holidays.
There’s a reason that both February 13 and 15 are known as “National Side Chick Day” by different groups of people. When he’s gone for every major holiday (particularly ones usually celebrated with loved ones), it’s not all that unlikely that you’re just one of the ladies he’s got coming off of the bench for him. We’re not saying that he’s not just spending Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, and the others with his family, but you may want to consider how serious he’s really taking you if he’s not spending at least a few of those with you. If he’s not seeing you on Valentine’s Day, you’re probably not the only one getting his invitation to make it up to you on Arbor Day.
If this is how his dog looks at you every time you come over, it might be because the dog knows you’re a side chick.
Taro the Shiba Inu / Flickr
3. His “sister” in photos looks nothing like him.
Isn’t it weird how he and his parents are all tall brunettes but his sister is a short blonde in all of the photos you see? And does it strike you as strange that they’re way more affectionate than you’ve ever been with your siblings? Maybe it really is his sister who he’s always hugging in Facebook photos and they just happened to get very different dominant genes, or maybe it’s really his main chick. While we’re at that, it should be a major warning shot if he won’t allow you into whatever social media he has, but we’re definitely not saying you should make a fake account just to find out, because if you were wrong and he finds out… That’s a wee bit stalker-ish.
2. He’s “not into labels” on relationships.
Sure, some guys might just be a little afraid of a relationship due to previous relationships or general lack of trust, but if every time you ask him about the status of the two of you he dives away from the topic with an “I don’t like labels” or a “let’s just be us” then you probably should look into whether or not he’s actually single in the first place. To be fair, if you never ask, then he never has to answer, so that’s kinda your own fault.
1. His dog hates you.
Let’s be honest, most dogs are better judges of character than people ever will be. You might not think his dog knows what’s up, but if a dog is used to seeing your man with a different woman, you’ll know. That time when his dog peed on your purse? That wasn’t an accident, that was a message that you didn’t belong there. If you want to avoid this harsh canine judgment, go with the fail-proof options, bring treats.