A 14-year-old got suspended for an assignment she turned in to her sex-ed teacher, and we have to admit we think the reason she got in trouble was kind of awesome. When given hypothetical excuses for not using a condom, students were supposed to fill in appropriate responses for why condoms should be used. Obviously, the reasons are endless, and so the answer to all of the questions could pretty much be, “Because . . . duh.” Which is basically what this girl said, except with way more finesse. Read her hilarious (and accurate) responses to see why she got suspended. But honestly. She’s not wrong . . .

  • Objection: “Don’t worry; I’m on the pill.”
    Response: “I don’t want AIDS.”
  • Objection: “I’m clean; I don’t run around, and I don’t have any infections.”
    Response: “Go f*ck yourself.”
  • Objection: “Condoms don’t feel good. It won’t be natural.”
    Response: “Being pregnant doesn’t feel good either.”
  • Objection: “I’d be embarrassed to use one.”
    Response: “Look at all the f*cks I give.”
  • Objection: “Condoms are gross; they’re messy; I hate them.”
    Response: “So are babies.”
  • Objection: “Just this once; we hardly ever have sex.”
    Response: “Now you know why.”
  • Objection: “I don’t have a condom with me.”
    Response: “I don’t have my vagina with me.”
  • Objection: “They cost too much.”
    Response: “STD treatments and babies cost more.”

 

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