Pastor Anita Oyakhilome writes about abusive relationships and marriages


In a post on her blog titled ‘There is always something to be thankful for’, pastor Anita Oyakhilome, who filed for divorce from the founder of Christ Embassy, Chris Oyakhilome, on April 9, 2014 on the grounds of “unreasonable behaviour” talks about abusive relationships and marriages.

She began with a quote from American actor, Michael J. Fox “One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”.

She wrote:

After an abusive relationship or marriage, there is no doubt you will have feelings of deep sorrow for a long time, which could go on for possibly months or even years. These feelings will come and go periodically as you reflect and you remember things from the past that would make you feel distressed.

You may be inundated with disappointments, which may lead you to voice your regrets, especially coming across certain people or a person. Several Instances could cause flashbacks and bring back thoughts of regret such as; signing a contract, making a decision, joining an organization, trusting people, buying a property. Also your mind would question why you hung unto a dead marriage or stayed in an abusive relationship. Don’t stay in that condition for too long.

Regrets will only aggravate your feelings. Forget about the things you cannot change and focus on being thankful. Don’t put your life on hold, rather plan what you would like to accomplish in one week, one month, three months and in a year’s time.

See the silver lining in the cloud. You may struggle to find or observe that flicker of light emerging out of the darkness but give yourself time to recover from that shocking hopeless experience, then thank God for making you strong enough to walk away from the abuse.

The situation might be tough, with burdensome chains, but you will get better. You can rise up to the challenge and improve yourself. Something good will come out of your situation. You will become a stronger and more productive person when you learn from your experience and use your knowledge to improve yourself for new prospects ahead. “I want my life to bring comfort to others and I am on that journey now thankfully.” Every ending is really a new beginning for beautiful opportunities ahead.

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