You know that period in life when you lose something so valuable that you keep on telling yourself it isn’t true and no matter how much you are convinced it is, you refuse to believe it? Well that was the case of Zainab and Jummy as they found out their car was missing. * * * They got to the car park and walked to the exact spot they had parked the car but the car was not there. “Jummy, was it not here we parked the car?” Zainab asked looking confused. “Err… Yeah… I think so…” Jummy stuttered. “So where is it now?!” Zainab asked with her voice raised. Jummy just stared blankly at the spot where the car was supposed to be. “Are you sure you parked the car here?” Henry asked no one in particular, but the question was directed at either Jummy or Zainab. “Of course! I’m dead sure… I came in through that entrance,” Zainab pointed at the eastern entrance, “and I even remember contemplating on whether I should park here or at that spot that is currently occupied by that Land Cruiser,” Zainab concluded.
“Okay then, what brand of car are we looking for exactly?” Clinton asked. “A red Honda Accord!” Zainab replied. Jummy was still staring at the spot in silence, trying to remember if they had actually driven the car or had taken a cab. “I’ll look around for it or any signs, and while I do that, you guys should go and ask the bouncers if they have any idea concerning the where about,” Clinton replied, he was trying his best to stay calm and manage the situation properly. “Okay, fine, here is my number,” Henry handed him his card, “if you find anything, call us.” “Okay, I don’t have a card, but I’ve given Jummy here my number, if the bouncers have any useful info, just give me a beep,” Clinton replied and walked away, he had no idea about where he was going but went ahead anyway.
The three of them: Henry, Jummy and Zainab, walked to the front of the club where two well-built bouncers stood erect, and had probably been standing that way all day, they both wore all black body hug T-shirts and jeans- they looked like they really meant business. Henry was the first to speak, “chairmen, how far na?” He said, trying to act as casual as possible. “I dey oh, wetin they happen na?” One of the bouncers replied, while the other kept an if-you-no-wan-give-us-anything-commot-for-here look. “Nothing much oh, how work na?” Henry asked as he shook them and stylishly dropped a thousand naira note with each of them as he shook them. They took the money and without checking the amount, they both deep their hands into their pocket and responded with a wide smile, “work slow today oh.” Zainab and Jummy had no idea what was really going on, they were wondering why Henry was asking them about work when he was meant to be asking about the stolen car – if only they knew how things work in Nigeria.
“Ehen, abeg, I get one small problem oh,” Henry said. “Ah! Oga! Which kain problem? Shey person they fuck up? Just point am and we go help you treat hin fuck up!” One of the bouncer replied in an excited tone- the power of one thousand naira. “No be that kain problem oh. Abeg, my babe park hin motor for backyard before she enter but the motor don grow leg o,” Henry replied and stared at Zainab, he could only imagine her thinking: when did I become your babe? “Ah! Them don thief am be that! Na the second motor them don thief this week be that. Na why we put that sign board for there,” one of the bouncers replied and pointed at sign board at the front of the garage which said: “ALL CARS ARE PARK AT OWNERS RISK.” Henry read the sign board and the stared at the ladies, his looks said it all: NO HOPE, and although Zainab didn’t want to accept it, she had no other option. They thanked the bouncers for the “no help” they rendered and walked back to the garage to wait for Clinton, hoping he would have some sort of good news.
Clinton came back few minutes later looking indifferent, his search has been fruitless. By this time, Oscar and Mathew were both outside the club to see if their friend, Henry would go home with Zainab. Henry saw them and he instantly remembered his bet, he smiled. He turned to Zainab who was awfully quiet and regretting why she had gone clubbing today, she just couldn’t help but wonder why of all the cars in the garage, hers was stolen? “Zainab, I can give you a ride home,” Henry started, “but, I’ll need you to give me your phone number,” as he concluded, he noticed how silly he was and how that came out wrong. “Sorry?” Zainab asked in disappointment, her car was missing and this guy was asking for her phone number, or she thought. “Oh! I don’t mean it that way, I promise to delete the number after I used it to do something,” Henry replied, trying to look as serious as he could. “Yeah right!” Zainab replied sarcastically, “Jummy let’s go and board a cab jhur,” she added and started walking towards the express way.
She had taken about four steps when she noticed Jummy wasn’t following her, “what are you still doing there,” she asked, “let’s go na.” Without looking at Zainab, she replied, “my handbag and money was in the car.” “What! How then were we to pay for those drinks?” Zainab asked. “I just took a few thousand notes and I knew some generous guys would join us,” Jummy replied, and realised how dumb she sounded. Zainab wanted to shout at Jummy for being so unreasonable and careless but she remembered she just lost her car, she sighed and reluctantly walked back to Henry. “I’ll give you the number on two conditions,” she said “I’m all ears,” Henry replied with a grin. “One, you tell me exactly what you need it for and you agree to drop I and my friend at our door step, deal or no deal?” Henry weighted his options and after considering having 100k in his account was worth it, he told Zainab everything from the scratch. Zainab was of course disappointed in Henry for treating her like a trophy but was more disappointed in herself for falling for such trap, funny to think she was already liking him and considering taking him home after everything for round two.
She gave him the number anyway, and Henry went with his phone to join Oscar and Mathew who were staring from a distance. He called Zainab from there and gave the phone to Mathew to confirm, when it was confirmed, Mathew handed over the phone and car keys to Henry and grunted at Oscar, “Now, we go trek go house shey?” Henry left with a smile, he had a bigger fish to fry. They say in Jos, you don’t keep a bucket of warm water outside and run inside your house to paste your tooth brush unless you don’t mind bathing with cold water. Well, I say you don’t leave your car, or any valuables parked outside in certain areas in Lagos without any form of security if you still like the car.
It’s amazing how the roads of Lagos are free early in the morning and before one can blink his eye twice, the roads suddenly becomes blocked with traffic. Jummy still hadn’t said much throughout the journey and someone who didn’t really know what has happened would have thought she was the owner of the stolen car. Clinton knew following Jummy home would be a waste of time as nothing would have happened so after he took her contact details, he went his way. Zainab knew she was supposed to be thinking about something but didn’t know which one in particular she was to think about. There was the case of Richard, Boniface the lawyer, E.A at work and now she was car-less. She just stared blankly at the road side as Henry drove them home. Henry’s attention was divided into two parts. While one part was focused on the road, the other was weighing his options in terms of “bedding” Zainab.
He was the player type and didn’t think it would be cool on his part if after all his effort all he gets was a “thank you and bye.” He turned to look at Zainab who sat by his side and thought it would be nice to try and start a conversation. “You know thinking too much won’t bring the car back right?” He asked her, but she wasn’t even listening, so he tried again, “Hey! Zain!!” He said. Zainab was startled, she knew only one person called her Zain and she also knew that that one person wasn’t around, that made her scared at first because she thought she was now hearing voices. “Thinking too much don’t bring back cars anymore,” Henry said with a tone of sarcasm. She heard him this time but didn’t quite understand, “I don’t get you,” she said. “I noticed you’ve been quite all through the journey and counting all the cars we passed, thinking too much won’t bring back the car, you just have to let it go!” Henry expatiated. “Oh! I know jhur, it just kind of annoying,” Zainab hissed. “Yea! I know exactly how you feel, but come on! It’s just a car and judging from you looks, you can get a better one with the snap of a finger,” Henry flattered indirectly.
Zainab smiled, “I know what you are trying to say and I’m not that kind of girl so don’t even go there.” “So which kind of girl is Zain?” He asked, pushing forward with a grin. “Err… I don’t know much about Zain, when you see her, ask her,” Zainab replied grinning. It seemed she had somehow forgotten about the stolen car. Henry laughed, “You seem like a very smart lady, where do you work anyway?” “Smart? Yes I am!” Zainab tossed her back over her shoulder in a mocking way, “I’m an actress and TV personality,” she added. A bell rang in Henry’s head, “Oh! Yes!!! I should have sworn I’ve seen your face somewhere but didn’t want to jump into conclusion. You’re the host of SINGLE AND MARRIED, right?” Zainab’s eye suddenly shone bright, “I’m the co-host actually, but yes I am anyway, you watch the show?” “Watch?” Henry asked sarcastically, “I adore it! The issues you guys talk about is just so on point, at times I feel you guys are talking directly to me,” he added.
Zainab blushed, “Hmmm… Thanks, so how about you, where do you work?” “Me? Nah!! I can’t tell you… You going to laugh at me,” Henry replied. “Why would I laugh? Just tell me na,” Zainab pushed, suddenly interested. “That’s what you would say, but when I tell you, you would definitely laugh, all girls laugh,” Henry replied. “Are you a hairdresser?” Jummy who had been eaves dropping chirped in sarcastically. Henry paused for a bit and burst out in an uncontrollable laughter, “hairdresser ke? Me? Hell now!!!” He literally screamed. “So what are you then, tell us na. Okay, we promise not to laugh,” Zainab replied. “Yes, we promise,” Jummy added. Henry turned and looked at both of them, “Okay, I’ll tell you guys but remember, you promised not to laugh oh!” He said. “Yes! We promise,” they both replied in unison. “Alright then, well, am a part time writer and blogger…” He replied.
“That’s cool, so you are a full time what then?” Jummy asked, she seemed to have gotten back her speech. “I’m a hairdresser,” Henry replied and looked at the road. Zainab and Jummy forgot their promise as they both burst out in laughter, that was the last thing on their mind. “You see, you both promised not to laugh,” he lamented. “I’m sorry… I’m really sorry,” Zainab then made a mocking zip sound, “my mouth is zipped, no more laughing from me,” Jummy on the other hand didn’t seem to give a fuck, she literally rolled on the floor as she kept on laughing for over ten minutes, Henry thought she had ran mad. “That’s how she is!” Zainab replied in Jummy’s defence. “Okay, so where exactly do you stay in FESTAC?” Henry asked as he drove passed a platform which said: “Welcome to the Festival of Art and Culture (FESTAC).” “Just drive, I’ll tell you where to turn and where to stop,” she replied. Few minutes later, they arrived at the front of Zainab’s house. As Jummy and Zainab jumped out of the car Henry asked Zainab, “should I still delete your number?” Zainab looked at Jummy and Jummy shook her head in disagreement, Zainab then turned to Henry and replied, “Your choice.” “Okay, I’ll call you later on, maybe to make your hair,” Henry replied in a sarcastic tone and drove off before Zainab could think of a suitable reply. Jummy boarded a bike to her own house.
It all seemed to be a very cool day for Richard, after Tony (the lawyer) had postponed their meeting twice, he finally booked an appointment and promised not to fail Richard this time. Richard walked out of his hotel room by 2:24PM and headed to the bar to chill till 4:00PM which was his scheduled time for his meeting with Tony. He sat down at the seat close to the air conditioner and signalled the waiter to come over. He ordered for bottle of red wine and leaned back to survey his environment in search of any single lady to spend time with, and he spotted one. She dressed and looked like a hooker and Richard noticed this, he knew he could just go straight to the point, pay her and drag her up to his room but that wouldn’t be fun so he decided to just play around. He walked up to her table, “Is this the latest trend?” He asked. She slowly looked up at Richard with an obvious look of confusion, “pardon?” She replied. “Oh! I was just wondering if it’s now a trend for beautiful ladies to sit alone in a bar,” Richard replied grinning.
The lady blushed, “I don’t know, maybe you should ask any beautiful lady,” she replied. “Oh! But I’m already talking to the most beautiful lady in this club,” Richard flattered, he definitely had a sugar coated tongue. She just smiled in silence. “Is this seat taken?” He asked, referring to the seat beside hers. “No, not at all, please sit,” she replied. “Thanks, I’m Richard by the way,” he said as he sat down. “I’m Bukky,” she replied with a smile. “Nice name, so where is Bukky from…” He suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket so he brought it out and picked the call. “Boss,” he heard the caller say over the call. “Yes? How did it go?” Richard asked. “Smooth boss, we ditched the car along Lagos Ibadan express way as you ordered,” the caller replied. “Good job!
I’ll send you your balance later on,” Richard replied and hung up. That would teach her a lesson, since she wants to play rough then I’ll show her what “rough” is, he thought. With a wide grin on his face, he turned back to Bukky, “Okay, enough chit-chat, why don’t you follow me up to my room and let’s get down to business?” He asked, Bukky smiled, “I was hoping you would say that.” They both stood up and went to Richard room. As they got to the room, Richard laid on the bed and watched her admire the room. “Where is your bathroom? I need to freshen up first,” she said seductively. “First door on your left,” Richard replied, pointing to the corridor. “Okay, I’ll be back in a jiffy,” she winked and shook her huge arse as she walked away. Richard looked down at the bulge on his trousers and smiled. But once again, he too forgot that things don’t always go as planned.