Bitch Series – And Here Comes The B*i*t*c*h


Driving at an insane speed in her 2010 model, Honda Accord, Zainab was forced to apply pressure on the car break when she saw something that most definitely caught her attention, a sign board which had ‘KINGSTON jo!‘ Boldly written on it. Thanks to the highly effective breaks, the car screeched to a halt just outside the ‘Kingston Jo’ eatery located somewhere in FESTAC, and without a second thought on how her car was wrongly parked almost at the middle of the busy express way she literally jumped out of the car with rage.

The eatery was barely a week old and its name had already spread round the entire FESTAC and beyond, it was known to be the perfect spot for lovers who don’t give a fuck about what people thought about them to hang out and have a peaceful lunch, the building size was somewhere between big and small and was basically built all through with solid glass, the Chinese contractors who built it did a swell job to make sure the building wasn’t just fine but something more than fine, perhaps magnificent.

Somewhere in the building, close to the northern transparent glass which faced the express way, a couple could be seen playing ‘lovey dovey’, the man filled his fork with the well-cooked jollof rice in his plate and romantically offered it to the lady across the table who gracefully opened her mouth and let him feed her, a few grains mistakenly fell on her clothes and instead of her to be pissed or something like that, she laughed sheepishly and the man joined her.

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Zainab who had almost gotten to the entrance of the eatery saw as this happened and her rage instantly multiplied, she murmured something like; “Can you imagine? And he hasn’t even offered me even a grain of rice in the last century o!” She had a last glance at the couple – the man in particular, as if she was trying to confirm something before she pushed the entrance door so vigorously the hinges vibrated and stormed into the eatery, in one quick movement she teleported herself to the table where the love birds were and before the lady or the man could do anything, Zainab raised her hands and gave the lady one of those kind of slaps that can cast out demons, the lady who was slapped let a loud scream and instead of her to retaliate as any sharp Nigerian babe would do, the intensity of the slap she just received was enough to tell her not to dare slap Zainab back.

So she did the only thing she could do; “What was that for?” She asked while stylishly keeping her distance from Zainab just in case of any fatalities. Being a typical Nigerian eatery filled with Nigerians, a small crowd quickly gathered to witness what was happening, even though no cameras could be seen around, some of the people gathered still thought it was just a movie being acted since Zainab was a familiar face to a couple of people who knew her from the popular T.V soap opera titled ‘Broken Dreams’.

Zainab looked at the lady who asked the question and felt the urge to give her another slap that might have rendered the lady deaf but she controlled the urge and let out a loud hiss, she then looked at the man who had been quiet all through as if he was still surprised then said; “It’s over between me and you, I’ll send you the divorce papers tomorrow morning and you had better sign it or else…” She didn’t bother completing the statement but the look in her face said it all. After saying this, she turned and walked out of the eatery leaving the crowd wondering either that was going to be a scene in the next episode of ‘Broken Dreams’.

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The man on the other hand was contemplating on either he should go after Zainab or not, after a few seconds he decided to go after her, but he was a little too late as he was just in time to see her enter the red Honda which he bought for her and without looking back once she stirred the car around and drove straight home. The man walked back into the eatery, picked up his suitcase and headed for the door, the lady who he was having lunch with looked amazed and rained a thousand questions on the man;

“Who was that? What was that all about? Where are you going to? Who would pay for this lunch?” The man took a paused in his steps, took a deep breath and replied; “That was my wife or should I say ex-wife now, and it’s all your fault” without waiting for a response, he walked out of the building, entered his Nissan Murano and zoomed of out of sight in a totally different direction from Zainab, Zainab hadn’t told him not to come home but he really didn’t need to be told as history had told him his wife was a BITCH – Babe In Total Control of Herself, and he dared not try her.


The Bitch Series #1 – The Divorce 

(c) Chistar


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