Being a perfect exemplary couple with a steady relationship over years, adoring and admiring each other with mutual deep love may sometimes not include sharing the same values for life, marriage, etc. It’s very common that all of a sudden a man or a woman realizes their partner has completely different opinions, images and even interests. How to remain caring lovers after you have figured out that you and your partner’s important aspects of having a relationship don’t converge? We have gathered this information thanks to our friends from jump4love.com/women.love
#1 Try to find out what your partner’s values and views are based on. Knowing why your lover values and cares about certain things will definitely help you better understand your partner’s weird, as you now think, attitude to life and give you more vivid perspective on what triggered this way of thinking. The cause of his or her beliefs and attitudes may be of most various types: from some severe traumatic experience or imposition of someone else’s thoughts back in your lover’s childhood to simply having different from yours notions of living and, in some cases, distortion of moral concepts in your love’s mind.
Thus, deep understanding of this cause will facilitate ( if it’s about a childhood trauma or strong imposition mentioned above) your coming to terms with your partner’s divergent from yours values, or helping him or her change their outlook based on misleading beliefs or thinking (if the trigger is distortion and your lover’s acceptance of wrong values and views).
#2 Do your best not to fight over contradictions in your outlooks. It’s always better and more reasonable to concede your right for expressing your point of view and just remain silent when your partner utters his unacceptable opinion concerning the importance of spiritual wealth or the ending of some philosophical drama you watched the other day. You can certainly argue with your love about his or her dumb thoughts and views but: 1) you’ll soon catch yourselves bickering in vain over the bloody subject of your hot discussion;2) there’s no way this will alter your partner’s way of thinking ; 3) your mutual strong attempts to prove you’re right will merely aggravate your relationship.
#3 Avoid bringing up topics and subjects prompting you to reveal your distinct attitudes to things. Try to minimize such risky talks and choose to chat about something neutral or some interests, hobbies or tastes for things you have in common, like travelling, the books you both enjoy reading or recollecting your most distinctive childhood memories. Sticking to these subjects will keep you and your partner from stumbling upon unwanted argumentative conversations that undermine your relationship.
#4 Never gossip about your lover’s values and opinions with people other than your close family members. The fact of condemning and criticizing your partner’s values with your pals, even the closest ones, tells about your disrespect for your love and his or her opinions that should be respected by you, however ridiculous or outrageous they seem to you. But what is far worse is your partner finding out about your ‘coffee talks’ , getting indignant at your neglect of him or her and, as a bitter result, leaving you alone with your constructive criticism.
All these tips are aimed at assisting you in dealing with this awkward and complicated situation when the love of your whole life doesn’t resemble you in what seems to be quite important to you. But when it occurs to you that you can’t put up with your partner’s views, values and outlook, then, it may be better for you to end your relationship. Nevertheless, let’s hope you two end up accepting each other’s flaws?